The purpose of a week of peace in the Ibo culture is to appease the Earth goddess Ani before the annual yam planting. In accordance with such a motive, a Week of Peace held at our school would likely be held before some sort of strenuous activity, such as winter exam week. The purpose of the occasion would be to appease the gods (teachers) so that they are in a relaxed state prior to exams and become extraordinarily lenient while they grade the exams.
The rules of the Week of Peace would be simple. In addition to a more serious emphasis on obeying school rules, there would be a weeklong moratorium on Political, Religious and Philosophical debates. Any person found violating the school rules would be given an F on all exams, but anyone found in violation of the debating rules would be forced to attend an event based on the nature of their infraction.
Those who partake in Political discussions would be forced to set up and attend a Ralph Nader rally at the (Local College) Superdome. The rally is to last no less than 6 hours and will include speeches by the Ghost of Lenin, Rod Blagojevich, George W. Bush, and Ralph Nader himself.
Students inciting Religious wars will be forced to attend a Pastafarian wedding ceremony, complete with the veneration of the Sacred Pirates and a traditional Spaghetti-flavored wedding cake.
Last but not least, those involved in non-religious moral or philosophical discussions will be forced to attend a weekly book club meeting to discuss Gottfried Leibnitz’s “Essais de Théodicée sur la bonté de Dieu, la liberté de l'homme et l'origine du mal, ” as written in the original French.
To make up for the torturous punishments, students who do succeed in refraining from violating the Week of Peace will be given cake. The cake will be distributed at a Tackle Bingo tournament which will be held the Friday following winter exams.
The Week of Peace will also feature musical performances by Sanjaya, Stephen Hawking, and the (School Name) Men’s Beginning Chorus.